IN THIS ARTICLE, I WANT TO SHOW YOU 5 most important ways to make anybody love you almost instantly. This even includes people who are considered mean and hard to please. If you will follow these 5 ways, you will have such a pleasing personality that will make people indebted to you the rest of your days. And don’t forget that what you are about to read is an excerpt from my new eBook titled: How To Transform Your Destiny.
Way #1: Don’t Be Fond of Criticizing People
The first way to make people fall in love with you is to avoid criticizing people especially in public. Even when it is obvious people are wrong, you should be diplomatic in the way you react to their wrongness. Does that mean you shouldn’t correct people if they are wrong? Doesn’t the Bible teach that open rebuke is better than secret love (Prov. 27:5)? Yes, you aren’t meant to keep silent when you see a brother heading for destruction.You shouldn’t keep silent when you ought to give direction to an erring person publicly.
However, that is different from open criticism! Criticizing people is not the same thing as correcting them in love. Let me give you a good example of open criticism. Some years ago, a lady saw a junior colleague at work and started passing stupid and unsolicited comments about the dress the junior colleague wore in the public place! She just blurted out, “How in the world would you wear this blouse on this type of skirt? Oh my God, you look so ugly!”
That junior colleague was so embarrassed that she started avoiding the lady from that day. The senior colleague is generally known not to have an unpleasant personality. Practically all her colleagues avoid her like a plague, because she could open her mouth and utter gibberish to anyone and anywhere.
If you want people to fall in love with you, avoid passing unsolicited comments about them in public, and even anywhere at that. If you want to make a change in a person’s life, do it gently and cautiously, without hurting and bruising their ego.
Way #2: Give People the Benefit of the Doubt
The second most important way to make people fall in love with you as I discussed in my book, How To Transform Your Destiny is to always, as a matter of principle, give people the benefit of the doubt. What do I mean by this? In other words, don’t be quick to draw unfavorable conclusions on people’s performance and personality. Always give enough allowance to accommodate people’s shortcomings and idiosyncrasies. If you give people such allowance in your life, they will love you so much they can do anything for you!
Generally speaking, you need to know that human beings by nature are quite intolerant. We are inpatient, and myopic by default. This really affects our judgment of other people, because we cannot always be right. Giving people the benefit of the doubt is a good way to say, “Well, I may be wrong in my judgment of this person in this given situation, let me give them more allowance in order to see things correctly.”
Believe me, if you can develop this attitude in handling people, you will be having more fans than foes!
Way #3: Don’t Allow People Owe You Anything
The third most important way to make people fall in love with you is to disallow people from owing you anything — be it money or material things. The only thing the Bible teaches that we should owe people is to love them (Rom. 13:8). However, you should ensure that no one is indebted to you in terms of money and material things as a habit. The Bible teaches that a borrower is a servant to the lender (Prov. 22:7). This means anyone that owes you money is a servant of a sort to you. There is a terrible spirit that hides behind debts. This is why debt is a sort of slavery.
Does it mean you shouldn’t collect your money back from people that owe you? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t let people service their debts; however, you should minimize or do without any system that makes people to always owe you. If you want people to fall in love with you, try and simplify life for them by helping them pay back their debts in a convenient way; and as soon as they finish paying, don’t get more people into slavery by letting them owe you anything!
When people come to you to borrow money or material things, simply give to them what you can afford, such that if they default in returning it, you can easily set them free. This is one way to make people fall in love with you — by refusing to enslave them through debts!
Way #4: Help People Achieve Their Dreams
The fourth major way to make people fall in love with you is to develop interest in people’s interests, by helping them achieve their dreams. In our church, we love to quote a verse of scriptures during our small group Bible Study, which is Philippians 2:4. It says, “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others”. Whenever you are with people, talk less about your own dreams and visions, and talk more about their dreams and visions. Ask them what you can do to help them.
Think of ways to help people achieve their dreams. You can help a young man or lady get an education, and they will adore you for the rest of their lives! Help a single mother run some errands on your free days, and watch her fall in love with you. Meet your pastor and ask to help with some pressing tasks in the church office on certain free days, and watch the pastor fall in love with you. Live your life to help someone achieve their dreams and watch them treat you as a “mini-god”!
What is more, if you are the type that helps people achieve their heart desires by developing interest in their interests, not only will people fall in love with you, but you will never lack dream helpers in form of noble men and women. That is one major way to make people fall in love with you.
Way #5: Never Win An Argument With People
The fifth most important way to make people fall in love with you is to decide from henceforth, that you will no longer win an argument with your spouse, employee, employer, pastor, small group coordinator, business partner or whoever it is you are involved with. One way to destroy your pleasing personality is to argue with people and win over them.
Funny enough, an average person you meet everyday, including you, is self-opinionated. By default, we are full of ourselves and will do anything to prove that we are right while others are wrong. However, wise people have discovered that trying to win arguments is a broad way that leads to character assassination.
If you are a husband that loves to argue your wife to a logical conclusion, you cannot win the love and respect of that woman. The same is true vice versa. You see, anytime you win an argument with people, you have crushed their ego so to speak, and they will start categorizing you as an enemy of a sort in their subconscious mind. They would start feeling you don’t mean well for them.
So what are you supposed to do? Even when it is obvious you are right, you must be wise enough to channel your discussion with people in a way that wouldn’t crush their ego. When people know you are not about winning over them every time there is an argument, they feel safe in their relationship with you, and they feel you will not make a mince meat of them because of their weaknesses and shortcomings.